How to Raise a Billionaire Genius

From attachment-parenting hugs to Tiger Mom discipline, the so-called experts offer plenty of contradictory advice on how to raise the perfect child. In this hilarious parody, the authors tell parents how to guarantee their child turns out exactly as desired — no matter how ridiculous the parents’ dream

Photo Courtesy of Ulysses Press

How to Raise a Billionaire Genius is a bit different. This hilarious, not-so-expert guide to parenting will ensure your precious offspring will turn out to be exactly what you want: a supermodel, a pope, a doctor, or even Stephen Colbert.

Parents today are highly frustrated by kids who reach their mid-20s without achieving mind-boggling wealth and fame. Where is my Zuckerberg? My Bieber? What did I do wrong? Short answer — everything! How to Raise a Billionaire Genius tells mom and dad how to fulfill all their expectations and live the lives they never had through their children. Forget hugs and understanding. This book explains how to push kids, mold them, and do anything necessary to ensure they grow up to fulfill their parent’s most wildly unrealistic expectations. Starting from the moment of conception and going all the way through high school, How to Raise a Billionaire Genius includes step-by-step instructions, whimsical illustrations, and handy tips. Leaving nothing to chance, the book offers parents an opportunity to force their children into one of 19 exciting destinies — from Musical Prodigy, Pro Athlete, and Beauty Queen to Genius, Billionaire, and Super Hero.

This book offers tips on diet, education, toys, attire, and even appropriate names. For example, when raising a supermodel, author D. Hornby and Sean Campbell recommend to "make sure playdates are only with beautiful babies in the neighborhood, and always include at least an hour of catwalk crawling."

Parenting has never been so easy with How to Raise a Billionaire Genius.